(I have no clue why I decided to start off this blog entry like an infomercial, hopefully you found it as comical as I did)
WELL SO HAVE I! As those of you who are close(r) to me know, I had several family members pass away with in a short period of time at one point in my life. At the time I dreaded my life, existence, everything because I wasn’t able to understand it.
With time, as I grew to accept the transitions(not deaths) of my family members I become very comfortable with the idea of “death” as we call it. It didn’t bother me.
But I was still missing something… why did 5 people from my family pass away in one year when I never encountered death before?
After much time had passed for me to self reflect along with the wisdom of a friend I had realized a few things that helped me understand the situation better. When a identical situation is presented to us over and over again we are not learning the lesson(s) that is/are to be learned.
When this string of tests occurred in my life I was a complete people pleaser, drawn to people simply to win their approval. My only thoughts were of this world, although I wouldn’t call my self a “bad” kid by any means – I simply didn’t have my eyes set on growth. Everything was in tune with my ego.
Hindsight is always 20/20 and my case was no exception. I realized that I needed to learn detachment from people. I never thought that loosing one’s father could have been a positive impact on anyone’s life (assuming the father was a positive role model), yet God showed me in a very personal matter that everything is perfect.
I now work in a ER where at any moment someone may be wheeled in dying and I am forced to give all that I can give and be able to detach my self. In fact just the other day there was a patient who I was talking to and just a couple minutes after adjusting him in bed, he had a seizure (with a developing bowel obstruction) and vomited all his gastric contents. Subsequently, all of the contents went into his lungs and was the cause of his passing.
Being able to detach doesn’t mean I’m a cold person; it’s quite the opposite. It is the ability to detach oneself from the ego. It’s rather hard to accomplish when you’re in the midst of someone’s passing, but Alhumdillah, God makes no mistakes.
With that said, I’ve started to see similarities to the year with all of those “calamities” and that made me think. Didn’t I already learn the lesson I needed to? Apparently not…
How humbling is it to think you’ve passed the class with an A + only to have to take it again?
Self reflect, figure out you’re perceived strengths and realize that it will be slipped out from under you in a instant so be grateful for all that you have. After all, it was just a quick few moments that has a death toll of over 100 thousand people in Haiti… what’s to say that it won’t happen to you?
Reflect on what has passed of this world. Has any of it remained for anyone? Has anyone remained in it, be he noble or lowly, rich or poor, friend or enemy? Similarly, what remains of it that does not resemble the past more than water resembles water? The Messenger of Allah said, 'Death is enough of a warning; the intellect is enough of a guide; precaution is enough of a provision; worship is enough of an occupation; Allah is sufficient as an intimate friend; the Qur'an is enough of a clarification.'
And elsewhere, 'Only affliction and trial remain of this world. If a person is saved, it is only by sincerely seeking refuge.' And Noah said, 'I found this world to be like a house with two doors. I entered through one of them and went out through the other.' Such is the state of the one who was saved by Allah: so what is the state of one who feels at ease in this world, relies on it, wastes his life by cultivating it, and is full of worldly demands?
-Imam Jafar Sadiq
Subahn'Allah.
Appreciate what you have but realize that you don’t really have it at all
2 comments:
This is something that has always interested me, the idea of a loss initiating one's journey to the spiritual life. There are countless true stories of sages and mystics spending extended periods of time in contemplation after the death of a father/mother, son/daugther, wife/husband. I have always felt that the suddenness of a loss is always a necessary pain and a cause of unavoidable discomfort, similar to waking someone up when the person is in a deep deep slumber. I could go on and on, but I feel you would understand better than myself.
Interesting insight after facing 5 losses.
Your post shows that all we have- from comrades to cars- is just a loan from Allah. And when He takes it back, we can't be mad or sad because it didn't belong to us in the first place.
This makes me think of the saying, 'desire is the cause of suffering.'
It's good to live with the dunya in your hand and the akhira in your heart.
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