At my clinical the other day I had a patient who had an array of psychosocial issues; stemming from drug abuse and her need to get clean. She had a history of several different drugs, as did her husband. The couple then enlisted in a methadone program to help get clean; unfortunately her husband was not able to give up his addiction to alcohol while on the methadone program. With methadone on board, alcohol will kill a person. Her whole situation was an impetus for me to reflect for a moment about my own life.
How come I didn’t get into drugs or alcohol? I thought about how vital the role of my family was in my development. I am blessed to have been presented the opportunities that I have had. I can take this experience back to the Bon, so many patients that I’ve worked with have a history of drug and alcohol abuse, venereal diseases, etc. Many of these people who do or did drugs were hooked by their own family members. I remember one patient telling me that he starting using crack at 11 because his uncle stuck him. Last I saw him he was 33 with Hep. C and I think HIV but I’m not sure about the latter. By the same hand there are those people who want to get out and ‘try something’ and this is where our free will comes in. I can not say that the only reason I never did drugs was because of one specific factor but it all by the grace of God that I stayed clean.
While were on the topic of reflecting on our blessings lets focus on our current behaviors as well and how we can grow through reflection. If we do not reflect on our own behavior we will never try to correct our wrong doings (don’t try to say your perfect, cause I’ll kick you in the face, with love ☺). How are we going to know how our behavior affects others unless we reflect?
“Reflect on what has passed of this world. Has any of it remained for anyone? Has anyone remained in it, be he noble or lowly, rich or poor, friend or enemy? Similarly, what remains of it that does not resemble the past less than water resembles water. The Messenger of Allah said, 'Death is enough of a warning; the intellect is enough of a guide; precaution is enough of a provision; worship is enough of an occupation; Allah is sufficient as an intimate friend; the Qur'an is enough of a clarification.' And elsewhere, 'Only affliction and trial remain of this world. If a person is saved, it is only by sincerely seeking refuge.' And Noah said, 'I found this world to be like a house with two doors. I entered through one of them and went out through the other.' Such is the state of the one who was saved by Allah: so what is the state of one who feels at ease in this world, relies on it, wastes his life by cultivating it, and is full of worldly demands?”
-Imam Jafar Sadiq
-Imam Jafar Sadiq
It is through being objective while scrutinizing our own behavior through which we can go on and adapt better behavior (unless of course your perfect). This also relates back to the ego post I had a little ways back. If are not completely objective in our reflection, then the benefits of reflection will be greatly decreased. Separate yourself from ‘you’ and you will be on your way. Realize that this body is not really you but just a shell.
Another point I want to bring up is regarding our current actions and their direct effect on the present situations that we may be in. How can your action facilitate growth, and/or benefit someone or yourself? Obviously we will never know how our actions will completely play out but to some extent we can use our intuition to see the benefit or disfavor of our actions. The most obvious example that we all see day in and day out is “Insert name here is such a adjective of choice.” Sure, this maybe completely true, but how is saying that going to help anyone? If anything it will only exacerbate the current situation. Figure out a way you can bring up this topic with that individual with whom you are having the problem with without being aggressive or rude. It is important to be HONEST and RESPECTFUL, simultaneously. If you are only honest, then you will come off as a prick. If you are only respectful, you will be a pushover.
So tonight, while you lay in bed before you sleep, reflect about all the things that you could have done better. Remember, this is not regret-this is reflection. I’ll leave you with one of my favorite songs from Lauryn Hill called Adam Lives in Theory. It talks about the whole of humanity without any exception…
Take care homies.
