Be.

Hello kiddos, hope your Ramadan is going well and that you are fasting and not starving, I need to talk about me because I want to stroke my ego. About 3 weeks ago I had noticed that my patients at work had been genuinely pissing me off. To the point where I wanted to straight up slap em’ across the face. Although the some of you may not know me, I assure you, this is completely out of character. I’m not one to become irate but that’s what was intriguing about these situations. They continued to repeat over the course of the next couple weeks and I was eerily aware that it was happening… just that it felt that someone had paralyzed me from acting appropriately. Granted, these patients are not in anyway respectful or remotely show any kindness. Still, I was so shocked that these angry thoughts were so easily streaming into my head.

It was almost as if though being angry with these patients was “cool”. Although these patients are down right nasty from time to time, I pride (for lack of a better word) myself on being able to maintain my cool and not fall into the anger. In retrospect I realized that my pride was taken and thrown right back into my face. Beautiful. We are often presented with situation where we’re supposed to do the “cool” thing, and often times the “cool” never gets us anywhere. Anyone who listens to Lupe knows that.

So I thought and thought and thought and thought some more about what I was doing to allow these ridiculous situations control me. All of this thinking came to no avail. I really had to dig down within and realize that I wasn’t grounded at all to figure out my answer. It was all right there in front of me like the answer key for a test. I needed to reaffirm to my self that I was doing this for God and nothing else. When you confirm this to your self everything becomes much clearer as we realign our selves with God.

After all of this sorted itself out, Ramadan started… and of course I already had a roadblock set up. I had a case of sinusitis and was set to take antibiotics for the first 7 days of Ramadan every 12 hours… Finally after finishing my course of antibiotics I got two fasts in a row… feeling as good as ever. The second day I fasted I was at work… with the same sort of patients, but with God’s grace I didn’t even get phased and was able to give love throughout the day. I’ve noticed that in order to truly appreciate what we are given we should only give a single object, person, or idea our attention at a time. This may sound extremely basic but it’s very true. Your appreciation for your food goes down the drain the moment you pick up that tv remote. Anyways, after these two blissful days of fasting I got sick again. After contemplating on it I realized Allah was forcing me to figure out other ways to grow closer to him by taking away my ability to fast which in itself is beautiful but at the same time stinks cause I love fasting. This situation seems to perfectly fit into my current state as my best friend, who is the only person that spiritually gets me rolled out to Montréal for the semester. So now it’s just me and I’ve decided that I’m going to use this time to focus on my connection with God (so you might not see me as much this semester).

In any case, today as I was on my way home I decided to put my iPod on shuffle and out came one of my favorite songs of all time. So many things about this song struck me right after another to the point where I had goose bumps all over. Being able to be content with what we have is beautiful, however being content spiritually is a disease. Don’t stop growing.

“We got arms but won't reach for the skies
Waiting for the Lord to rise
I look into my daughter's eyes
And realize that I'm gonna learn through her
The Messiah, might even return through her
If I'm gonna do it, I gotta change the world through her”



Lyrics